NCIS:
Unofficial Rule A: Never apologise, as it's a sign of weakness. Unofficial Rule B: We don't believe in coincidence.
Unofficial Rule C: But we do believe in bad luck.
Unofficial Rule D: Don't speak geekspeak, speak English.
Unofficial Rule E: Headslap only the back of your underlings' heads: anything else would be demeaning (Gibbs once said a slap on the face was humiliating, whereas a cuff to the back of the head was a wakeup call).
Unofficial Rule F: Always anticipate
Unofficial Rule G: Know how to do every job that your underlings can do (this rule falls down if one your underlings happens to be Tim McGee, but we would all get a good laugh watching Gibbs trying to hack into the CIA's computers)
Unofficial Rule H: If a computer doesn’t work, hit it.
Unofficial Rule I: Always acknowledge good work by underlings.
Unofficial Rule J: When using Truth by Intimidation, always remain silent for at least a count of 5 after doing the act of intimidation, at which point the canary will sing.
Unofficial Rule K: When in the interrogation room, stop the recording devices when the information strays into personal matters irrelevant to the investigation (e.g., don’t ask/don’t tell rules for gay Marines, revelations of unrequited love)
Unofficial Rule L: When your cell phone breaks, have DiNozzo "fix" it (unwrap a new one from the supply drawer)
Unofficial Rule M: Always ask for permission to touch the body: it belongs to the M.Examiner (Ducky has been known to get stroppy if anyone spoils his crime scene, he reportedly threw somebody down a hill).
Unofficial Rule N: When doing a shootout, don’t kill the hostage and avoid shooting off their ear.
Unofficial Rule O: Don't call Ziva 'Ma'am' and don’t call Jenny 'Madam Director', if you want to live.
Unofficial Rule P: When hacking the CIA, give underlings a get out of jail free pass.
Unofficial Rule Q: When breaking others' rules, do not get caught.
Unofficial Rule R: If you want to gain access to a secure area to investigate, carry a cup of coffee and some paperwork and act like you belong.
Unofficial Rule S: Never, ever (ever) get Ziva angry.
Sit ne oikeat:
1. Never screw [over] your partner.
2. Never let suspects stay together.
3. Always wear gloves at a crime scene.
4. Don't believe what you're told, always double check.
The best way to keep a secret is to keep it to yourself. The second best? Tell one other person- if you must. There is no third best.
6. Never say you're sorry.
7. Always be specific when you lie.
8. Never take anything for granted.
9. Never go anywhere without a knife.
11. When the case is finished, let it go.
12. Never date a co-worker.
15. Always work as a team.
16. It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.
17. Never be unreachable.
18. Never involve lawyers, things will turn nasty.
22. Never interrupt during an investigation.
23. Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live.
26. Never apologize -- it's a sign of weakness.
38. Your case, your lead.
Aww... :)
